Pushing people & friends away? psychological issues? from the past?

I am like that too, because of my childhood and how socially awkward I was I pushed people away from me, even though I wanted the opposite of it, and I was so trusting with others but in the end they used and betrayed me and my feelings, the sad thing is that when they use you they don't even think of the harm it will do to you or your trust for people in general, I had depression too and now I am also happy with life and don't care about others opinions on me like I used to, based on what you said I would have to say your mom played a big factor in how your communication went, so yeah I have kinda felt what you have felt too, I know how much the depression hurts, but now you can focus, move on and start fresh :) I hope everything turns out good for you.